As I
started writing this eulogy for my niece, Alissa, I began by looking at her
facebook page, scrolling down and down. First thing I noticed was how many
friends she had. I contacted some of them and found that most considered
themselves close friends and had the most beautiful things to say about her. To
be honest, I wasn’t aware that she had too many friends, but I was wrong.
The
next thing I noticed was how lovely, positive and optimistic so many of her
posts were.
For example: A Rainbow over Somerville,
“A lovely day at Look Park in North Hampton,
A photo, looking like an impressionistic painting of new spring colors, as she remarks Here is what it looks like outside my window
without all the snow.
And, perhaps my favorite, she wrote, “A distant Red Robin heralding spring. There is hope”. And what you see is a gray looking photo, trees with bare branches, and no bird in sight, but Lissy saw that red robin in the distance.
For example: A Rainbow over Somerville,
“A lovely day at Look Park in North Hampton,
A photo, looking like an impressionistic painting of new spring colors, as she remarks Here is what it looks like outside my window
And, perhaps my favorite, she wrote, “A distant Red Robin heralding spring. There is hope”. And what you see is a gray looking photo, trees with bare branches, and no bird in sight, but Lissy saw that red robin in the distance.
The
last thing I noticed was how funny she was. A few examples:
·
“Just found out my unemployment check has been
sequestered. Anyone needs me I will be seeking political asylum in either
Canada or Sweden”.
·
· 98 degrees! I
can't take this anymore. I'll be in the North Pole if anyone needs me.
·
· Ugh, my apt is
overrun by ants. This is disgusting like a horror movie come to life...or like a picnic gone wrong.
·
· “Being in an
airport is like doing time for a crime you didn't commit”.
·
January 13, 2014 A
picture of a hippie looking, bearded guy with round glasses, red and white striped-shirt,
sitting in the lotus position and the quip is: Plot Twist. Waldo Finds Himself!
·
·
At times the
humor was a bit darker, for example, there was a
·
post with a
picture of a huge pill in capsule form, with this list of questions: Depressed? Over-Worked? Job Suck?
Unappreciated? Family Problems? Money Worries? Well, here is a pill for you. F
U K I T O L. When life just blows…. FUCKITOL!! …1,000 MG.
Another had a picture of a nymph like Fairy Fire Spirit
upon a steed and it read: “Someone told me I was delusional... I almost fell off my unicorn”.
And one post read: “If you are reading this you have survived your entire life up until this point. You have survived traumas, heartbreak, devastation, the different phases of life. AND HERE YOU ARE. You, go, motherfucker. You’re awesome.
·
An
abundance of loving friends, cheerfulness and positivity and a very funny sense
of humor. And, there was also a darker side, major food issues and pain.
What
all of this tells me about Alissa is that, like all of us, she was not
one-dimensional, but multi-faceted, complicated.
What
everybody seemed to know about
Lissy was that she had a loving heart, a quiet and loving nature and was
supportive of all the right causes. In fact, one of the last things she did was
to send in her loan to a KIVA recipient, a loan that helps someone in the
developing world and is ultimately returned to the giver who can then make a
new loan to someone else. Alissa made that loan. I will carry it on for her.
Alissa is now on Kiva!
Alissa is now on Kiva!
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Alissa
was a spiritual person. It seemed to me, it was with this side of her, that
many of her friends in the Boston area connected. For many years she did yoga
and she participated in organizations with a spiritual bent.
For my 60th birthday, Lissy gave me a small silver painted bowl with a cover, that reminded me of a genie’s lamp, but instead of making a wish and rubbing it, there were these words printed around its perimeter: WISH, DESIRE, DREAM, and HOPE. Inside were little scrolls of paper neatly tied with little silver ribbon, on which I was to write a wish, desire, dream and hope. And so I did 3 years ago. Now, I will take one of them out and write on the opposite side a new HOPE, wish and desire, that Alissa is now in a state of peace, tranquility and even bliss, and I will put it back in that little spirit bowl that Lissy gave me.
Alissa Breitstein and Deepa Thapa are now friends.
For my 60th birthday, Lissy gave me a small silver painted bowl with a cover, that reminded me of a genie’s lamp, but instead of making a wish and rubbing it, there were these words printed around its perimeter: WISH, DESIRE, DREAM, and HOPE. Inside were little scrolls of paper neatly tied with little silver ribbon, on which I was to write a wish, desire, dream and hope. And so I did 3 years ago. Now, I will take one of them out and write on the opposite side a new HOPE, wish and desire, that Alissa is now in a state of peace, tranquility and even bliss, and I will put it back in that little spirit bowl that Lissy gave me.
I will end with some posts
written by Alissa’s Boston area friends on her facebook page or in private messages.
David Vendetti I really appreciate you letting me know. I
absolutely adored her. My heartfelt condolences.
Robert Nardin Alissa was a
great person and very loved. She had many friends in the Boston area. She will
be very missed.
I
would love to be there but it's tough, being all the way out in Austin. I will
say Kaddish for her this Friday at Shul. (I had asked him if he thought Lissy
knew how much she was loved by so many people)… I think Alissa knew how much
she was loved on one level but I think later on depression robbed her of that
knowledge. May Alissa's memory be a blessing.
Michelle Marcus When I picture Alissa in my mind from years
ago growing up, it is her infectious laugh that plays over and over again ... I
am sure wherever she is her laugh is filling the room with many smiles that
were once lost. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of her family during this
sad and difficult time.
Andrew Slack I miss you more than words can say. I have
missed you since moving in mid-2013. Being your roommate from 2006 to 2013 has
been one of the best things in my life. You have meant and continue to mean the
world to me. You have taught me so much with your strength and your integrity,
your curiosity, and our shared humor. I miss you so much I can't even tell you.
.
Monika Eghbalian Alissa, my heart is filled with sadness. I am so sorry the world has lost your beautiful, kind soul. I feel so blessed to have shared a home and friendship with you. I wish I could have told you how much you impacted me and how special you are. May you rest in peace. Your spirit will live strong within our hearts.
Monika Eghbalian Alissa, my heart is filled with sadness. I am so sorry the world has lost your beautiful, kind soul. I feel so blessed to have shared a home and friendship with you. I wish I could have told you how much you impacted me and how special you are. May you rest in peace. Your spirit will live strong within our hearts.
Catherine Gunderson I worked with Alissa
Breitstein at the Mass Bar
Association. I moved to Boston after graduating college, looked for work in the
city and I remember the moment she walked into the Mass Bar (while I waited
nervous in the lobby). Her face immediately brought me calm and we were friends
from there on out. She helped during a sad, lost time in my life and I lived
with her briefly before moving out of the city. I always wanted to make it back
to Boston to reconnect with her. This is hard news.
Betsy Helfaer posted
this notice for the Boston area friends: A Memorial Meeting at Dado Tea Shop
955 Mass Ave. Cambridge. Noon Saturday Feb.14.
Margot Suydam Thanks Betsey for getting her friends together.
Walking home in the snow and remembering many moments of laughter and
conversation with Allissa. Her keen intellect and sense of humor is what I remember
most as well as her kindness and unassuming presence! She will be missed!
Carol Lazell Much, much too soon, Alissa. I will miss you
a lot. I was always glad to see you. We didn't spend enough time together, but
I always enjoyed what you said and your quiet wisdom. Thanks for teaching me to
play Words with Friends, and for being such an amazing and brilliant player.
You had such a lovely energy. I wish you only the greatest peace and joy and
hope the next phase unfolds for you with beauty and ease.
Bill-Carm Ingebretsen We are grieving with you. Lissy was the kindest
and gentlest of Kirsten's friends. She will be missed.
Susan Vreeland an author who I read and friended on
facebook wrote: She is still with you
spiritually. Holding to this strongly,
will lessen the grief.
Susie Goldman Alyssa was loved and cared for by her "family" in the
Cambridge area and beyond. We too are in shock. Remembering her beauty as a
person. My condolences to all.
There
was one more of Alissa’s facebook posts that I’ve left for the end, and this
one I think she meant for me to find and include in this tribute, It’s the one
each of us must listen to and take to heart.
There is a picture of Christopher Robin and Pooh sitting on a bluff
beneath a tree and it says: “If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together… Keep me in your
heart, I’ll stay there forever”.
WE
LOVE YOU LISSY
For anyone who would like to make a donation in Alissa's memory, she had volunteered for this charity at one point and I think she would be happy to know that people supported it in her name. Horizons for Homeless Kids
MORE FROM ALISSA'S FACEBOOK PAGE POSTED TO HER AND POSTED BY HER
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| LISTS MADE BY ALISSA IN HER HANDWRITING FOR HER FRIEND, ROB, WHO SHARED THEM WITH ME. |
